Monthly Archives: August 2012

Statistics

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In which Amber celebrates approximately five years of poetry.

That night (and everything after it)
was a knife stabbed right through my heart,
and before you condemn me for using clichés,
know this:
one-third of stab wounds to the heart
are survivable.

Imagine: spindly muscle fibers stretching,
weaving a thin blanket of sorrow,
and skin reappearing over blank red lines.

Your scar wasn’t a pretty one.
It was itchy, white and raised,
right over my ribs, and every time
I wore a low-cut shirt I felt sure
that everyone could see the bloody scratches
on my pericardium.

I’m one of the lucky ones. The thirty percent.
Heartless, you said, but you were lying,
because when I lie on the floor, watching the shadows
of passing cars, I can hear
the far-off whisper of sweet ghosts in my arteries,
easing along at a steady 90 over 60.

Sometimes the dead don’t stay down.

Ten Things I Learned About College During Freshman Year (Part II)

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In case you don’t remember or have willfully blocked the memory from your mind, last month I wrote about five important things I learned during my freshman year of college.  As it’s countdown time to Oweek 2012, I decided that now would be a good time to wrap up the list.  Please enjoy, or not.  Whichever.

6. Don’t Worry About the Amount of Stuff You Have.

Nothing can make you feel like a college noob than struggling into your dorm with six cardboard boxes, three suitcases and an under-the-bed box.  On move-in day last year, I wanted to shrivel up and disappear.  However, once it was tucked into my room along with my roommate’s things, suddenly it didn’t seem like all that much.  Yes, your things will be a lot to carry/ship/store, and yes, the ironing board, vacuum, and personal printer will come in handy, so don’t leave them out.  Follow your Oweek handbook’s guidelines, read this blog for more advice on what to pack and what to leave out, and – I’m very sorry to have to say this – listen to your parents’ and older siblings’ advice.

7. Don’t.  Skip.  Class.

… Ever.  Unless you are very sick, or have a conflicting university-scheduled event (as the professors call it.)  If Hutch’s 8 AM is too early for you, it’s your responsibility to switch to another section.  It is very tempting, especially with a class like math where you follow along in the textbook, to sleep in or do homework for another course, but you’ll miss a lot from the lectures (many times, professors will throw in extra information that won’t be covered in the book but will be covered on the test.)  Smaller, seminar-type classes may even take attendance, so be careful.

Conversely, if you are really sick, please, please do not go to class or a midterm.  This also goes for if you are emotionally upset, if you are sleep-deprived (beyond a reasonable limit) or if you are hung over.  I have seen people drag themselves to class when they really should have been home, and maybe in the hospital.  Use your judgement – if you go to class only to sit in a feverish haze, you won’t learn a thing, you’ll probably make yourself sicker, and people around you might get sick as well.

8. You Don’t Have to Do Anything to Fit In.

Pop culture often portrays college as a place where everyone gets wasted and has gratuitous sex, but it really isn’t – at least, Rice isn’t.  No matter your views on sex, alcohol, or anything else, you can easily find others who share your opinions.  Also, you do not have to dress or act a certain way in order “not to stand out.”  There are people of every ethnicity, gender, style, religion, and body habitus at Rice.  (More about body habitus later.)

Bottom line: it isn’t high school anymore, and if you don’t attend a 7:45 AM midterm wearing your pajamas and flip-flops before you graduate, then you haven’t really lived.

9. Eat Whatever You Want.

Fair warning: people will judge you for what you eat in the servery, albeit mostly unconsciously.  I’ve been teased for eating too many carbs, for drinking soda at lunch, for eating Yoplait for breakfast.  Because I was already extremely self-conscious about my weight, these innocent comments had me eating meals in my room (which attracted more snarky comments – you just can’t win.)

You don’t have to put up with anything that makes you uncomfortable, whether it’s about food or exercise or sex or school.  Particularly concerning food, it is your right to eat whatever you want wherever and whenever you want (you’re paying enough for it, after all) and people who criticize your eating habits (or exercise habits, or social life, or school performance) need to find something better to do with their time.

10. Have Fun.

Seriously.  These are going to be some of the best four or five years of your life.  What makes you happy?  Is it tennis, basketball, WoW, study groups, coffee?  Then get out there and do those things.

Now, what makes you uncomfortable?  Do you hate meeting new people?  Are you afraid of Houston?  Does Beer Bike not sound like that much fun to you?  (Traitor!)  Then, may I humbly suggest trying something that high-school you would never have dreamed of doing.  Try a new food, explore the light rail, learn all your college’s cheers and anti-cheers (particularly if you are in Lovett,) and most of all, always remember how happy you were when you opened your acceptance letter, and carry that joy and enthusiasm every single day.

You’ve earned yourself a place at Rice, one of the country’s great universities.  Now it’s time to leave your own mark here.  And on the world.  But that comes later.